A wife who is a caregiver for her spouse with dementia shared her frustration today: Her spouse asked her the name of a lake they used to live near.
She “knew” he knew the name. She got mad. VERY mad, and said very tersely, “You know it!” and walked away. Later, he said the name of the lake; she felt validated.
The patient told me he asked his wife because he is unsure what is “right anymore” (he is losing his mind) and wanted to be “sure”. That’s all.
She thought he was asking because he “always asks me everything, he wears me down, I’m exhausted, I’m sick of it, he knows these things, I don’t have to tell him.”
Dementia can be so hard on both sides. She is angry and resentful, and honestly ready to be done – he is scared and uncertain.
Caregivers I can help you drop your anger and resentment. It is possible. I can help you choose love and compassion. Which one will serve you?
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