You take the good,  you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life.

Did any of you watch that show? I’m dating myself and I digress.

The theme song from “The Facts of Life” is right on.

Have you ever noticed there is often both good and bad in situations?

As a caregiver we see our loved one suffer, or get more bad news.  It seems unfair.

Life is not fair. It took me literally 45 years to learn this despite my mother trying very hard to teach me. I remember my younger sister often getting the bigger half of the cookie after school.  It wasn’t until I adopted a child with RAD that I finally learned this lesson.

Somewhere in life we get the idea that good people should have a good life, and we are entitled to happiness.

This is confusing when we see ourselves or someone else suffering over and over – not fair.

History has shown us many times  that life is not fair.  The problem is most of us think it should be and it isn’t. This keeps us arguing with reality – wanting something to be different.  We feel like  victims.

We spend lots of energy getting mad about this and nothing changes.

What if there is always pain and joy, success and defeat and it was all still okay?  This is the balance of life.  When I get stuck, I try to remind myself – this is the hard part, it will pass. That does not make it easier and it does not make it harder. I get to be in the stuck part without arguing with reality.

Then you can allow yourself to look for the other half – the joy, the positive parts, a smile, a beautiful day, a kind nurse or a hug from a friend.  Look for those – you will find them.  Appreciate them.

If you want help with the joy and the sorrow and all things unfair, I am here. Reach out for a 20- minute free consultation on zoom.