What does it mean to be “done”?

Within 24 hours this week, two of my clients who are caregivers for their older husbands shared with me the same frustration.  One said, “I feel like I am roller skating on a tilted floor, there is no manual for this.”

Both husbands are weeks away from turning 90 and have dementia. They no longer want to take pills, do physical therapy, etc., and both are declining in their ability to do much for themselves.

The wives are wondering what that means for them. Why are their spouses “giving up”, what will that mean for their own caregiver load?  They both said they are taking it personally.

Both husbands have previously said that they have had very long full lives.  The wives get to decide what they believe, how they feel and what actions they will take or not take. Not easy choices. Will they hire more help? Will they do more and risk their own health? At what point will they move their spouse into a higher level of care?  Also, how do they want to show up for this next, perhaps final chapter of marriage: angry and resentful. or from a place of care and compassion?  

Reach out for a free 20 minute Zoom call as an introduction to coaching if you want help with these or any other challenges.