There are several obstacles that get in the way of careving. I hear about them daily and have experienced many myself.

The common ones: arguing with reality, not feeling what you really feel, and self neglect.

Often as a caregiver we convince ourselves we are miserable and “should” be happier. This is normal as our brains want to keep us comfortable and safe. Comfort and safety are not things usually associated with caregiving, especially when going at it alone.  The reality is caregivers are often miserable, and with good cause, so telling yourself you should be happier is arguing with reality.  When we argue with reality we always lose.

Caregivers (and most of us) do not have practice feeling what they are truly feeling, especially negative emotions like misery. We instead are taught how to avoid feelings (over eat, over drink, shop, social media, etc). The first step is to acknowledge your feeling and name it (i.e. misery). Then take one minute wherever you are and feel it in your body. If you skip this step the feeling remains. Often when we ignore it, our feelings then show up as a sleepless night, aches and pains, yelling at our kids, etc. Practice making peace with the feeling in your body for a minute and then let it go. 

Finally, what is common for caregivers is to ignore and neglect their own care and upkeep. When in a new role it is okay to let this go for a few days but not for weeks or months etc. It will catch up with you. It is important to eat, move your body (even if only for a few minutes) and to rest – find something for your body and mind to decompress. If you don’t, this will lead to burnout and resentment. These are things we can handle but they are much easier caught and handled sooner.

Reach out for a free session on how to tackle these obstacles specifically in your own life.